"Meltdowns"

I had a meltdown yesterday 

It happens sometimes. 

As an adult, I am far more aware of why, how, and the after-effects. 

We're all very different though, so they will be different for each person - but please don't punish your kid or partner for having one - look to see what was in the run up to it and be there for them in the aftermath and know how to deal with the tummy ache or other physical symptoms. 

It's a tummyache for me - always has been - although as I've got older then the bones ache a little bit more too! 

As an adult, I have more control over my routine than I ever had as a child, but that means that when it does change, I can mask it's effects for a little while, but when I can't any longer, then it's full blown meltdown - I think I threw shopping bags across the garden at the car! 

I love working with ND clients because they like the same routine too - so we can all keep ourselves safe in those - and we can talk about meltdowns and what happens and how we feel afterwards .....

But one thing - I remember someone coming with their child for the first time here and apologising because they were a little late as the child had had a meltdown not wanting to come ... gently admonishing her quietly, I asked the child - it's scary isn't it? Would you like to know what we will be doing and what time we will finish and would you like to ask me any questions? Would you like to meet the horses and choose who you would like to talk to if I tell you all about them and what they do and how they will act towards you? And would you like to tell me what you'd be doing normally at this time - at school and when, like now, you're on holiday? And you know that if you don't like it, then you can leave at any time - it's ok - I don't mind and the horses don't mind - but we would love it if you stayed and played with us for awhile and talked to us.

You see, as without knowing what going through a meltdown is like, then it's hard to know why someone would have one. They are all different, but there are some very similar stands to them all - and we're not stupid or babies, we function in spaces and we also know that we can't have our routine every day forever - but we can engage our executive functioning if we are given the information that we need and time and space to process our thoughts and how we are going to "feel" and what those colours in our heads that match to emotions are going to be - and as we get older, many of us can do transistions without accompanying meltdowns - but if we do - then hear what we're not saying - and look after us!