Roses' Story

Rose - 2022

I had a phonecall one morning, the signal was bad and I was also a bit uppity because it had come at a really awkward time so when I was faced with someone on the other end who didn't seem to have a name, reason for calling and was just demanding my qualifications, I was a little bit taken aback and, if I was honest, not at my best. 

It was not long after this I got a new SIM for my personal phone! 

I swallowed the smart alec comments back to get to the heart of what was going on, to find that the lady on the other end of the phone had come across my phone number and was calling around to find someone who she could talk to and had been told by someone that "you must get their qualifications" so had got into a tizzy that she would forget this and be told off by her friend. 

She was wanting to have a short burst of sessions to help her prepare for the annual upcoming year end of her child's death by suicide which hit her badly every year and, after 10 years, she wanted to start to try and break out of the guilt that came along with it, and to try and remember her beauty and intelligence, her loving nature and her joy - not the way that she was found and the pain that came with that. 

Truthfully, I get asked so rarely about my qualifications and that it was a bad line and I didn't know in what context that it did throw me and I was in that call in a horrible place, so, at the end of the call, as I always do to people who phone to make an appointment, I offered the opportunity for her to phone some of the other counsellors around here and to talk to them - to see if she really wanted to come to me - or to pick one of them. 

So I was shocked to hear her reply "I've already called some of them, but I know in my heart right now that I want to come to you because you've been so kind and gentle and understanding" 

Which led to a lovely therapeutic relationship where we were able to examine the ideas around the guilt and the memory and flashbacks to the moment of having found her, allowing these to be dealt with fully rather than being left open to constantly remain unresolved.

So I often smile remembering being called kind - it's something that I really like to know that people who come think of me and, more importantly, I look for the whole story of the grieving process and how things happened in what order in order to address all the aspects that are playing a part and never think of it as the linear process that has to be "sorted through" in a year - so please reach out if you're in a place where you want to have relief from any situation around grief and pain.