The "AHA" moment

If you ask people who have been to a good therapist for something like recovery from a single serious traumatic event what the best moment in their time with the therapist is, they will nearly always refer to what we call the "aha" moment - when there is a huge shift in their brain and, for example, the head finally accepts something that they have been holding back on accepting for a whole load of reasons - shame, guilt, fear, it being familiar and scary to let go just being a few. 

The "Aha" moment can come at any stage and isn't always related to the area that is being discussed at that particular time, it's just when the brain figures out it's process and catches up - if you think of the brain like a big room of filing cabinets, it's when they all get hit by an earthquake and fall down and all the mis-matched filing is now on the floor and the person in charge can see that it's not been done properly for awhle - and now things can start to move and it start to be "filed correctly" - going back to the brain, it's when it allows us to hit on the thing that is holding up our healing and starts shuffling our memories back into the right places, and it's where the nightmares and flashbacks start to subside and allow us to sleep at night - and that means that we get proper sleep, allowing the brain to process things - and so on and so forth! 

For my work, it usually comes with a release of emotions and the horse reacts to this - holding up the client physically and taking in all their mental anguish - and reacting the only way a horse can - in giving the person the biggest hug they can possibly give (yes, they do, they use their head and neck and hold you in and surround you in safety!) And, sometimes the person is literally almost on their knees as the "aha" moment comes in so many forms, including physically reacting and shaking. Sometimes just a total flicker of the eyes and a full comprehension of what's been going on. Sometimes just a quiet understanding and a thought that grabs your brain and clings on until it's got! 

Why am I telling you all this today? 

Yesterday, I saw the results of what had seemingly been an impossible task to train up Solo in anything other than teaching people how to put in boundaries - now, I'm sorry folks, he's still in your pocket and wants to be loved, so that's still his main job! 

But yesterday he got that non-verbal communication, the frustration, the annoyance, the despair and the utter starting to feel hopeless emotions that were flying around from me at the cow, who had decided that she rather fancied buttercups, of which there are many in the horse field - but I go out on a Tuesday so I couldn't leave her alone in there! 

The husband tried to help by moving the horses up the field with carrots whilst I tried to bribe her out with a bucket of feed which got her to the gate and no further and then she turned and sodded off again - the buttercups winning! 

She did come back to the field and I was on my own with all the horses around it - but I figured I'd go out and give it another bash - after all, what's to lose - I'm not in any worse state bar a few minutes .... and she can duck under the electric wire at the gate that the horses can't - so I was probably safe ... right?! 

I got her to the gate again and the horses came to see what the fun was and if there was any more food in it for them - she was being as stubborn as it's not meant to be possible for Jerseys to be - and wouldn't come through the gate at all - so Solo - the most unlikely horse in this event, bounced up behind her and tapped her backside with his mouth - sure IF he had done that out of any other situation, I'd have shouted at him for it - they aren't allowed to harrass the cows - or not mine anyway! - but in this instance, she came through the gate like a lamb and he held all the others back 'til I had shut it. 

Bless him, it's taken him awhile to get that level of emotional openness to people - he's been as sweet, kind and gentle as they come and has taught a number of people about how to make and keep boundaries and why they should have them - but emotional work hasn't been his forté - up until now. 

Now, his work with humans and anger is going to have to be done in a very gentle and tactful manner as he is a bit of a scaredy cat - but last night, he had his "aha" moment and glimpsed into his future - and what a future that has the possibilities of being - because we already know he's full of love ...