The Horse as Counsellor

Misconceptions of therapists .......

And why the horse escapes them!

It's funny, when we're in training, we are often told that we shouldn't react, show our emotions, be vulnerable - be human really - and then some clients think that this is the "norm" and that counsellors shouldn't be human.

How can we possibly be a counsellor, hear your stories, hear your situations, hear what you've gone through - and not show some empathy, concern, consideration ...

OK - sure, I don't mean we'll be a quivering wreck in floods of tears where the client needs to "comfort us" - that would just be silly wouldn't it?!

But what we can be is moved - moved by your tale, moved by your story of life, moved by the situations you've lived through - and impressed and sometimes even in awe of the way that you've handled it and are living life as best you can and have built up resilience and go on in the face of it all - and are human!

We can hurt with you - but we can hold that hurt in the space you need to share it - so that you can acknowledge it, accept it, and come through it.

We can see, hear and feel the emotions that you bring - and we can and should be able to hold them for you as you untangle them in your thoughts and feelings - and start to put them back in a way that makes it better for you.

We can (and should) be vulnerable to your pain and suffering - because if we can't and don't see it - then we aren't going to be able to walk alongside you on the path you need to walk to achieve where you want to be - and we can't help you to go from being coping to being wholly human again - and we can't see you fly off as the butterfly breaking out of the chysallis of change and sleep - where your emotions are battered and not fully felt in a safe and healthy way.

Why do the horses get a bye?

Because this is exactly what they give you - and no-one ever says they shouldn't! Indeed, it's expected that they will hold you in non-judgement and in love as you take the path you need to within their loving embrace and caress!

By the unity of a counsellor and a horse, you learn to embrace and live again - to share and have healthy emotions - to regulate and to stay in present - and, above all, to move into humanity.

I was once asked to be someone's counsellor because I "sounded kind" when they called me - and when I said - please call others and see who you will have the most useful therapeutic relationship with - that was her response - I want you, because you sound kind ...

So be in touch with your emotions and be kind, and to be truly empathetic to those sat with you on their journey - be open, be vulnerable, be human ... because then you can help them to get back to being the same.