What if I said that therapy isn't change ...?

When people call me up and we have that first conversation that has taken them a huge step to have, the one thing that they most commonly ask is "how will I change?" 

The answer to that is complex - because the reality is, the basics of therapy is not to change you, but to give you relief from whatever it is that you are seeking therapy for! 

Yes, that's the thing that many people miss and which therapists don't always put across. Look, seriously, we're therapists, not marketeers with magic words to make it easy to read - half of us couldn't do that if you tortured us and removed our eyes with blunt spoons, trust me! 

But the thing is that change is huge, it's hard, it's difficult - and sometimes totally inconceivable - "how do I change from someone I've been all my life and, even more, what does that change look like and who will I be afterwards?" - what HUGE questions and what a huge wall that is being put there - almost setting yourself up for failure before you even start. 

But the reality is more - "wouldn't you like to have some relief from your hurt, pain, anxiety, depression whatever you've called me about?" 

Isn't that a much easier thing to look at - you're suffering and whatever you've been doing hasn't worked and so you are desperately trying to seek relief - and there are many ways to do it - but setting yourself up to do something that's not huge, not scary, seeking to bring a good thing, a relief, something achievable - that's where therapy lies ............. 

Yes, bits of your approach to life will change because of that - but you will remain constant, all the good bits of you will remain, you will be authentically you because you'll recognise those, you'll be stronger to deal with the times that things get hard - but, most of all, you will have sought and found relief from the thing that is causing you harm, causing you pain, holding you back and making you suffer. 

So don't look to therapy to "change" you - look at it for what it is - a way to help you make life more kind by having relief from those things that make it hard. 

Even more so, if you want the horses to help you in this, it's one of their strengths - they are going to help you in a totally empathetic manner taking away even the horrible parts of this journey by making your brain and body work in conjunction to heal through the really nasty stuff - and they are always good for a hug afterwards!