First Couples using horses

When I was working in one particular role, one of my patients was Anne, a married lady who had been thrust into the caring role and, after 1 year of this was referred to me for further help and support.

Stewart and Anne's relationship was marred by Stewart's enduring battle with serious mental health issues, compounded by his tendency towards physical and emotional abuse towards Anne. As a caregiver, Anne bore the brunt of Stewart's illness, experiencing significant mental and physical health deterioration as a result of the constant strain.

Intervention of invention: 

Although I would love to say that it was a groundbreaking move, Stewart and Anne were introduced to equine-assisted counselling by accident rather than plan, but, as far as I am aware, this marks it as one of the earliest instances of horses being used in couples therapy. 

It is worth noting that the sessions took place in Anne's own field, where she found solace and safety among her horses. It was during one of these informal moments, on the off-chance of being able to talk freely away from the confines of traditional therapy settings, that the seeds of couples therapy with horses were sown through the proof of their use.

Process:

In the presence of the horses, Anne found a sense of solace and empowerment that had eluded her in other settings. The familiarity of the field and the gentle presence of her horses allowed her to reclaim her identity, separate from her role as Stewart's caregiver. 

It was within this safe space that Anne began to establish boundaries to protect herself from further harm, drawing strength from the silent companionship of her horses.

The blurring of boundaries within their relationship was a central theme that emerged during the counseling sessions. Anne's time spent with the horses not only provided her with a respite from the turmoil of her marriage but also served as a catalyst for re-establishing boundaries on a wider front. Through observation and reflection, Anne gained insights into the importance of setting clear boundaries within her marriage to prevent further abuse and protect her own well-being.

The blurring of boundaries was what sparked the transformation though, because Stewart would, if he saw us, march down to the field and want to interrupt. One time, we allowed him to come in with Anne's permission as we had spoken how the horses helped her and questioned would they help him with his behaviour towards her - so we gave it a try to see!

Over the next few sessions, through witnessing Stewart's interactions with the horses, Anne gained insights into his capacity for empathy and connection. These moments of observation served as a catalyst for open and honest communication between them, fostering a newfound understanding and empathy within their fractured relationship.

For Stewart, the horses served as a mirror, reflecting back the consequences of his actions and the impact of his behaviour on Anne. Through gentle guidance from myself and then with during his psychiatrists sessions (who I had briefed on the situation), he began to recognise the need for emotional regulation and communication skills, crucial elements in rebuilding their relationship on a foundation of trust and mutual respect.

Outcome:

While their journey was fraught with challenges and setbacks, the experience of equine-assisted counseling provided Stewart and Anne with a unique opportunity for growth and healing. By confronting their demons in the presence of these gentle creatures, they discovered new avenues for understanding and connection within their relationship.

Conclusion:

Stewart and Anne's case marks a pioneering step in the field of couples counseling, demonstrating the potential of equine-assisted therapy to facilitate transformative change. Their journey highlights the power of unconventional approaches in addressing complex relationship dynamics, paving the way for future exploration and innovation in therapeutic practice. 

Since them, I have worked with couples in this space, using the horses to open up dialogues and incredible insights - both as part of my pre-marriage course (to try and stop problems before they are even thought of!) and within couples counselling. 

My horses have even starred in talks on relationships, couples, love and communication around the world via zoom! If you would like to read one of their booklets, please get in touch and I will send you the copy.