Joanne's story

Joanne - 1995 - UK

I love writing my case stories for informing people who I am and what I do - it reminds me of those people who have come through my practice and who have been kind enough to leave a long term memory on my brain and a place in my heart. 

Joanne was one of tthese people - although I was barely out of University and training, and she was preparing for retirement - the therapeutic relationship was amazing and it showed me the importance of someone picking the right counsellor for the right reasons (and vice versa, although at that stage I didn't have the confidence to turn people down!) 

Retirement was a really scary concept for Joanne at the time, one of the reasons that she wanted to talk to someone was that she couldn't work out what was best for her - what to do - where to go, and the idea of long days stretching out as far as the eye could see on her diary filled her with dread as she had a habit of ruminating about things that could go wrong based on her past experiences. 

At this stage, I was very much not working with the horses, so we would meet in a typical therapy room of the day (times have changed and so much for the better!) and it was a tad clinical, so that added to the anxiety as it was "like going to the doctor" and bringing up fears of her health and would she be well or would her retirement bring sicknesses and death (one of her grandparents died within 6 months of retirement).

We had 20 sessions leading up to and including her retirement, then after six months, she came back for another 12 sessions to talk through how things had gone and "what next" - and how she was coping with being more on her own and what had happened about her thoughts relating to settling in with new people rather than work colleagues and would she be bullied and find it hard to adapt. 

Although this was before I was trained in CBT and before I was using horses, much of the techniques we were using are still recognisable in the methodology I use now - breaking down thoughts, examining specific incidents, addressing any long term effects that they have, processing and revising the thoughts that built up and were now unhelpful - as well as hearing her talk and what she was saying, validating those words and feelings and thoughts and allowing her time to think and feel both them - and the ones she wanted to have. 

As I sit here, nearly 30 years later, I can recall her whole demeanour from start through the process to end - and the amazing lessons she taught me as well - I included the recommendation she gave for me - the first one I am pretty sure - and reflect on the word intuitive - if only because it's a word that many people over the years have used in their reviews - it's one that, in some ways, has no teachable meaning and I often put it down to the horses - but is also one that I am happy to have - and owe a lot to people like Joanne who were open to coming to a fresh faced new person and trust me - be vulnerable - smile and help me build up my work to include those as part of it - trust, vulnerability and humour are central to my way of working - and Joanne's life and story was brought out through those sessions - where her past bullies no longer added to those internal voices and she had a long and happy retirement!