Suicide
I don't hide from any topics and have worked with many people with passive and active suicidal thoughts so wrote this around the time of year when these are proportionately higher
Rachel Cox
Last Update 2 years ago
Suicide - don't not talk about the elephant in the room - because the elephant doesn't just get up and walk away on it's own!
And a comment the other day sparked the thought that - what the hell's the point of being all academic over this - it's vitally important that we get the word out in the easiest way for people to understand.
How many of you know the difference between active and passive suicidal thoughts? (Some people might not know there are two types - and THAT'S OK! Nor do lots of people - that's why it's important!)
Passive thoughts do not mean that there's plenty of time to worry about it!
Active thoughts are just easier to identify! The person has started to formulate a plan in their mind and started to withdraw from the world that they see will be better off without them - so you can pick up on the signs: not making plans for 3+ months in the future (sometimes less so don't let 3+ stand in stone it depends where you've caught them!), talking about where things are and what you'd need in the future - insurance plans/paperwork/car stuff etc, talking in a way that indicates wrapping things up and they MAY have written it down - this is a time that you can have a bit of a nosey in places that you think of - and removing access to easy options - and YOU can phone the Samaritans and others for guidance - it doesn't have to be the person themselves - worried family and friends are equally welcome on the phone to any of the centres to talk through your concerns.
Passive thoughts are more nebulous - easier to discuss in open conversation though - heck, at this stage you can even, in a roundabout way, ask the question openly! Don't be scared, and remember that light hearted open questions that bring you into the situation rather than focussing on them work wonders in bringing out deep held thoughts that they are way too scared to share - because they know that they aren't sat there being the only ones to think them! There's the germ of the idea, it's being played around with - will the world be better off without me, am I a burden to my family and would they be financially better off without me - and the big one - can I get through this and will it get better ....
The biggest sign of all is a loss or losing of the sense of hope - when you see that go out of someone - or when you see them clinging on to it in desperation and, even more if it's a hope that relies on other people or events - then please open up your eyes and ears and heart and really really hear them ...
Never forget it can be anyone at any time - and the only way we can tell is by talking to people and listening to them - picking up on the slightest nuanced comment or phrase - and, please, if you're at all worried, a quick call to the Samaritans to talk about it - and to outline it - say it really is about your friend or family member so they don't think it's you - and say what's happening - and they really are the listening service and care.